My Mother

Today is a very special day because today...is my mother's birthday.  I would like to take a moment or a post to write about my mother because what most people don't know is that my mother died when I was eleven years old of cancer.  But, I don't want to make this post about her death....I want this to be about the celebration of her life.  She was an amazing woman and I can't thank God enough for having such an amazing woman as my mother. 

I remember so much about her within the short years I had with her.   My mother's laugh(hysterical), her voice(so kind), her smile, her pose, her style and elegance.  I miss watching her get ready to go somewhere like Church or some place nice with my father.  I remember after she would put her lipstick in mirror she would turn to me and make sure to give me a little bit to put on my lips with her finger. "Just enough for a little color" she would say.   She was the most beautiful woman in the world to me and I could not wait to show her off at school if she had to visit or to my friends.

She was tall about 5'10 , 5'11" and yeah, I did not get that gene unfortunately.  I got my father's 5'8", 5'9" stoutness (I am 5'4").  However, I did adopt her dimple on the left side and her quietness.  Those that knew my mother and knew me, tell me that I look like her.  I don't know about that because I see myself everyday and I am not really sure if I see her in me. But, I guess she is there.

Christmas....the best time of the year for the Smith family.  Still is but, man, as a kid waking up my brother at like 4 a.m. and going downstairs and seeing all the toys laid out...It was truly heaven for me.  As you see in the pic above I was pretty occupied with the brand new Rainbow Brite I got to even look at the camera. My mother and father were hard workers and they made sure we (my bro and sisters)  hadn't went without.  Especially my mother.  She was an amazing crafter, sewer, and shopper.  My sisters and I still talk about the times we would all go on shopping trips.

Mama and Me with no front teeth

Craft Stores shopping was always fun with my mother.  She would get a project she would want to do and I would help her do it.  She knew I liked art,  fashion and drawing because she caught saw me one day drawing on the walls near the staircase.  (oops)  I got in trouble but the next day she bought me colored pencils and drawing pad.  VH1 Fashion television was our favorite hour on TV.    I knew all of the 90's supermodels names along with the designers like Gianni Versace and Calvin Klein: I was nine years old. 

Dad (pops), Mama and Me

There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her.  She wrote us all personal letters the year before she died.  I cherish every word.  In the letter she writes that I was her sunshine that God gave her, she also wrote that she knows God has some great plans for me and she wanted me to be strong.  To remember to take care of myself and remember that God loves me. To take my problems to him first and he would guide me through.   She ends by saying that she loves so much and that she will see me later. 

It's testimonial because I've have learned over the years that taking my problems to God first was one of the things I tend to forget.  You get so wrapped up in whatever it is and feel like there's no one person to turn to...but God always there. 

I miss her.  Everyday. For the past 17 years. 

Happy Birthday Mama.  I love you and I hope I make you proud. :)

A Letter to the 2010 Robin

Happy New Day, Happy New Year Everyone!  I had woke up after a somewhat "interesting" night out for NYE and thought it was only appropriate to write a blog post on this new day.  As I sit here and eat my bagel and sip on the OJ this morning, I had a somewhat epiphany to write a letter to the former me (the 2010 version)that I would like to share with you.  I keep a personal journal (embarrassed smile) and I hope it will inspire you of just how important it is to just be You and live your life.

Dear Ms.Smith 2010 version,

Its a new day and a new year!  Now, I know the majority of folks are probably planning out there goals, figuring out what to cut out this new year, whether its weight, fixing finances etc.  I have to say we usually follow suite with the same things....we have been living happily together for almost 29 years now.  We have seen people come and go in our lives, we had some victories and disappointments/set backs, we had some sadness and some happiness and we have had people lift us up and bring us down.  For quite sometime now I have felt that you had felt some kind of need of approval.  Or someone to give you a road map to how our life should go.  Though, we are stubborn and tend to want everything to go according to plan.  It doesn't happen that way. When the Creator (Big G) created us he didn't equip us with a GPS on making a U-turn because there's a bad relationship headed our way or turn left here because this is the route people usually go.  But, when you think about it....why would he give us the GPS to our lives?  He has it all in his hands. :)  The simple phrase you tend or...we tended to forget. Plus, how are we suppose to grow and learn into the person the God intends for us to be.

2010 Me

Which makes me wonder why we spent so much time worrying about the things that were out of our control.  Trying to solve every problem and every other person's problems as well. ....:::Pondering::.... Why?  I have no idea. I have to smile to myself because I realize how big our heart really is.  How much we do care for people but, ask for so little in return.  This is something we will have to cease and desist this year.  Streamline some folks that have noticed this trait in us and taken advantage of it.  Because we deserve more out of our life.  We deserve to be cherished and loved as much as you do with others if not more. We deserve the better things in life and all that life has to offer.  And that's not being selfish...that's just the truth.
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Oh, and this talent of ours....you need to use it more and back it up 110%.  Because if we are not behind it, how do we expect anyone else to be?  So, on this 2011 year of a new day and a new year I, 2011 Robin would like to take over this year.  2010 Robin you have made some big strides on finding your passion and in loving and taking better care of yourself but, I (2011 Robin) will get us on that futuristic next level this year.  Now, I can not promise that things will be rainbows and butterflies in the sky.  (Although I really wish they were)  I can promise that our Faith and our Courage will be much stronger this year.  I can promise that I will never give up on our talents or our dreams because someones lack of understanding or just pure jealously (Hence haters).  I also can promise to laugh more. (at myself included) along with taking the stubbornness from a 9 to a 2.     Okay....maybe not that low though.  In certain situations, you have to be stubborn.  I will streamline it better.  So, upon writing this letter to you. 

Let's live.

Love your one and only,

Robin 2011 a.k.a Robie

My Family Circa 1985

Counting your blessings...

Family is always there when you need them. In good times and in bad, we are there for each other. This year in particular with millions of job losses, cut salaries, foreclosures, bankruptcies and rising costs of health care, my family had managed to pull through. No job losses or foreclosures amongst us. My pop was able to retire comfortably this year and I started Graduate School along with keeping my own job. We are all in good health and there's not a day that goes by that I don't take the time to Thank God for watching over us. Sometimes we over look our blessings and we tend to ask for more. Or ask why me? I do it all the time. I get feverishly frantic when things don't go my way or the way that I planned. But that's life. It's not planned, it just happens. So, in 2010, entering new decade: Take time to enjoy your blessings, your family, your loved ones, the ones that are in your corner no matter what.

Happy Early New Year!
Love,
Robin